FOR THE LOVE OF CHILDREN

This week during a child custody and visitation hearing it occurred to me that people Including parents do not know much about these legal proceedings.  First no one wants to be in this type of hearing. The best thing in almost every case is to try and resolve the disputes without a trial.   Look at your children and try to understand what is best for them. I know that the other parent is a moron and doesn't cooperate. The other parent may want to strike out at you and if the child gets hurt a little so what. Still look at your child and try to find a way.

Maybe some non-legal visitation guidelines would help.
First show up for the visitation exchange on time.  Your children get panicked if you aren’t there.  It is not good to put this stress on your children and it makes you look bad.
Come to the visitation prepared. Have the proper child restraints and a driver's licenses. Be sober. Leave the weapons at home this includes your new girl or boy friend.

Be reasonable when it comes to changes in the visitation schedule and the place of the exchange.  You may be the one asking for flexibility the next time and need the favor returned.
Encourage your children to respect and love the other parent.  Whatever hostility you may feel towards the other parent don't say anything about it .  Bite your tongue and don’t say anything negative about the other parent or stepparent around the children.
Do not use the children to pass messages. Do not hide recording devices on the child or in the child's belongs.

Keep excellent records of when the other parents visits or misses visitation.  Including times, dates, and anything that you might need to remember should you end up in court.
Tell the other parent of ANY bruises, cuts, scrapes, and illnesses. Children get hurt but if there are trust issues the other parent may believe the child was hurt by your hand or negligence.
Also keep records of bills.  Send receipts for medical bills with both the statement of what was done and the charge and proof that you have paid it.  Both are needed to make a clear showing of what’s due.

The alabama courts prefer a joint parenting arrangement. Meaning that both parents should be able to spend time with the children. It takes a big change in the life of the parents or the children to change legal custody  A child is NEVER old enough to choose with which parent to live. This is not a burden for a child to carry. So do not believe that you can go to court with evidence that a child is not happy with the custodial parent and walk out with a change of custody.


The best time to fight for custody is during the divorce. It is best to hire a good lawyer then and go for custody. It is difficult to change custody at a later time.