HAPPY 2011

If you didn’t know there are several web sites dedicated to making or creating resolutions for the New Year. They list the top ten resolutions. Number one is to lose weight. Judge Terry Dempsey has followed this mighty tradition with the desire to lose 30 pounds in 2011.


Number two on the list is to get organized. Our District attorney Joey Rushing has a variation on this. He stayed after the courthouse closed over the holiday and cleaned up his office. He resolves to keep the top of his desk so clean that he can see the person who is sitting on the other side of the desk.

Spend less and save more is in third place on the web. No one told me that this is their resolution. Maybe we should all save more and we may all spend less because of the doom predictions on the economy. In my Pollyanna world this is not going to be a problem.

Number four on the web’s list is to enjoy life to the fullest. It isn’t my resolution but I do try and enjoy myself each day. I often tell my son John Isaac to have fun. He is at Birmingham Southern College and I want him to have much fun now. When he has a job, family, and responsibility it may be difficult to just let go and enjoy.

Melissa Cason said that her resolution is to have more fun, get more fit and to stay fabulous! I think she is in the spirit of number four. However, it also goes with number five which is to get fit and to stay healthy. Molly Ann Bates said, “Mine are the same as most people’s Diet, exercise, and try to survive. I want to stay healthy too. I just don’t want to do those yucky healthy things.

Number six is to learn something exciting. In my job I learn many exciting things most of which I can’t repeat. I have tried now for three years to learn Spanish. I can now say a few colors count to five and know lots of food names.. taco .. burrito, cheese dip.

Quit smoking is number seven. This is very hard to do. If this is your resolution let me know and I will pray for you. I believe that this can be done with Divine intervention. This leads me to number eight; helping others.

To fall in love is number nine. My experience has been that it is too easy to fall in love. The trick is to fall in love with the right person. This flows right into number ten spending more time with family. I think with all of the snow we have done this for 2010 now on to next year.

Tawanna Kendrick Richardson said, "Actually this was from last year but it worked. Every time something from my past that was negative came to mind I would change the thought to something positive." Paula Norris Mullens said, “How about simply refocus... That's what I plan on doing. Reset my focus..”

Joan Allen resolves to have quite evenings of meditation. My daughter, Hannah Grace says that she wants to be a better and nicer person. She is the best just ask me. Oh! Maybe my resolution should be to stop bragging about my kids and grandkids. No, that just not possible.
 You might want to check out these sites
www.kcnewyears.com/newyearsresolutions
www.2011resolutions.org

HO HO HO NO NO NO

Santa Claus - AKA Saint Nick - AKA Jolly Old Elf - AKA Father Christmas is wanted for multiple crimes. First and foremost he has broken into millions of homes over the past few years. For each breaking and entering offense, Santa faces up to fifteen years in prison. The sentences could be served consecutively, meaning that Santa could end up serving more than 1.5 billion years in prison if sentenced to the maximum penalty. Many states have harsher breaking and entering penalties if the crime occurs at night, which could further extend Santa's time in prison.
As Santa’s attorney, I’m hopeful that the judge will show leniency toward Mr. Clause. A best case scenario would involve several million of the breaking and entering charges being dropped. Mr. Claus would be allowed to plea to three counts to run concurrently. He would also be allowed to request and to apply for probation.
It is my belief that Santa Clause entered these homes with only good intentions. My client has never forced his way into the homes. He has never caused any damage to the homes, and never took anything other than milk and cookies. He has actually left things of value in most of the homes he has entered. Although some home owners do want him prosecuted for criminal littering as it appears that he has left lumps of coal and switches in some of the dwellings.
Mr. Claus is also charged with stalking and has admitted to knowing who is being naughty and who is being nice. By this admission it can be proved that he has had unlawful surveillance of several million people.
It appears that he has been raising livestock without proper inspection. Also a reindeer is not a domesticated animal and should not be allowed to cross state lines without the proper vaccinations, Coggins test and veterinarian certification. Mr. Claus could be spreading parasites throughout the country and bringing in unwanted vegetation. Some believe this is how kudzu gained a stronghold here in the south.
The authorities at the North Pole are wanting to question Mr. Claus about the alleged sweat shop that he operates there. It seems that he forces little people to work for him for wages far below average. He also denies them time off for meals and breaks that the union has guaranteed.
The prosecution has argued against any special treatment for Santa stating that a crime is a crime. The officials are firm in their belief that no special treatment should be given to Mr. Clause just because he is famous. Some people believe that the punishment should be the same for everyone, no matter who they happen to be. It has been said that Santa should be punished to the fullest extent of the law.
There are several other countries wishing to bring charges against Santa Clause and have requested his extradition. So in the future Mr. Claus may not be saying ho ho ho. He may only state not guilty.

Show you care make a will!

I know that I’ve written about the importance of a will before. However, it needs to be said again. I have a dear friend who just passed away. As a matter of fact I’ve just come from his funeral. While talking to his relatives I was asked about why he didn’t have a will. For at least ten years I’ve suggested that he write a will and a living will. He was in good health. He just didn’t do one. He has strong healthy children and grandchildren, all of whom seem to be very intelligent. They spent much of their grief time attempting to understand what their love one would have wanted. Everyone wanted to do the right things but there was no way to know for sure what their dad would have wanted. Watching this lovely family making all of the decisions has prompted me to write this.
First of all everyone needs a will. There are no exceptions. A will is not expensive. The attorney fees start at seventy-five dollars. You do not have to know all your property. For incidence you do not have to put down the make and model of your car. Chances are that at the time of the will you will not have the same car. A will is a general instruction about who gets what after you have gone. You can say to my son I leave all of my guns. To my daughter I leave all of the jewelry. You do however need to know who you trust to carry out your wishes. You need a personal representative. This is what we use to call an executor. You also need a person to be an alternate. This is just in case the chosen executor has predeceased you or for some reason can’t do the job. Most couples make their spouse their personal representative and a child their alternate.
Second, it takes away a lot of pain for your loved ones if you have a living will. In the past women gave birth whenever the baby wanted to come. Now days the event is often planned. The family and the doctor decide when to induce the labor. It seems the same thing has happened at the end of life. The doctors have machines that can keep your lungs, kidneys, and heart going for a long time. Then after the family has spent several weeks at the hospital the machines can be removed. This takes the suddenness out of the death. It prepares the living for your passing. If you wish to be placed on life support you can say so in your living will. If you want to die in a more old fashioned way you can. In a living will you can determine how your last illness is handled. This is not what any of us want to think about while we are rushing through our healthy days. However doing a will and a living will are great gifts to give your loved ones as you are leaving this earth for your heavenly home.

ARE YOU OLD ENOUGH

The age of consent in Alabama is sixteen years.  If a child below the age of sixteen has consensual sex the adult can be charged with rape second. This is a felony offense that includes fine cost and prison time.  The most servere punishment is not prison time it is the Alabama Sex Offender Notification Act.  This act requires the person to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.
You must be at least sixteen years old to get a driver's license in Alabama. You must be at least fifteen years old to get a learner's permit. If you are under eighteen, you need to have had a learner's permit for at least six months before you may apply for a driver's license. You have a restricted driver's license if you are sixteen or if you are seventeen and have had the license for less than six months. There are two general restrictions on this license. First, you may not drive your car after midnight. Second, you may not drive with more than four people in your car excluding parents or legal guardians.
The legal age to marry without parental consent is eighteen. People who are sixteen or seventeen years old may marry with the consent of both parents. Prospective brides and grooms should bring a certified copy of their birth certificate to the courthouse to obtain a marriage license. Both parents must present valid identification and consent in writing, for someone aged sixteen, seventeen or eighteen to marry.
The age of majority, in the state of Alabama, is nineteen years of age for an unmarried person and eighteen years of age for married persons, widows or widowers. Any person in this state, at the arrival at the age of nineteen years, shall be relieved of his disabilities of minority and thereafter shall have the same legal rights and abilities as persons over twenty-one years of age. No law of this state shall discriminate for or against any person between and including the ages of nineteen and twenty-one years solely on the basis of age. (Code of Alabama) The definition of age of majority is: "The age when a person acquires all the rights and responsibilities of being an adult." The rights of the parent, in the state of Alabama, are transferred to the child, when the child turns nineteen.
It is unlawful for any minor to purchase, use, possess, or transport tobacco or tobacco products within the state of Alabama. It is unlawful for anyone under the age of twenty-one to buy or consume alcohol in Alabama.
Alabama law prohibits anyone from selling, giving or lending a handgun to any person under age eighteen. Alabama law also prohibits the delivery of a handgun to any person under the age of eighteen.
Finally you must be nineteen years of age in Alabama to decide which parent you will live with until then it is up to a judge to decide who has custody.

CALLING IN DEBT

I’ve had a request to let everyone know when and where a bill collector is allowed to call about your overdue account. They can call between 8am and 9pm, your local time. They can call you at work if they do not know your employer disapproves. However, they should not call during times "which should be known to be inconvenient." So you should not get a call on Christmas morning or at noon on Thanksgiving. If the call is at a bad time, just say, "This is not a convenient time" and let them know specifically what time is convenient. They are not allowed to call you at a time that you have already told them is inconvenient. Also, they can’t call you repeatedly.

There's no law that says you have to communicate with a debt collector by phone. If you hang up on a debt collector there is nothing they can do about it.

All you have to do to stop debt collectors from calling you is tell them that you prefer to communicate with them in writing. Written communication works in your favor because it gives you a record of everything that is said. However, by law, the debt collector does not have to write to you.

The best way to stop debt collectors from calling is by sending a “cease and desist” letter. Send it by certified mail with return receipt requested. This will provide proof that the letter was sent and received. Once the collection agency receives the “cease and desist” letter they can communicate with you one more time by mail. Their letter will say one of three things. It may state that further efforts to collect the debt are terminated. Most likely it will state that you MAY be sued in a court of law. The third thing it could state is that you ARE being sued.

The Fair Debt Collection Practices Act (FDCPA) is the Federal law that says what debt collectors can and can't do. They should not call you about a debt that you don't owe. When a debt collector first contacts you about a debt, you have the right to request them to verify the debt is yours. If the debt collector can't come back with proof that you owe the debt, they're not allowed to contact you anymore. You should not admit to owing the debt in any communication.

It is best to talk with your lawyer. An attorney can write the “cease and desist” letter on your behalf. He can represent you if you are be sued. She can also negotiate a settlement of the debt and a payment plan should you wish to pay the creditor.

DID I PASS?

The war on drugs has spawn useful techniques for detecting drug use. A drug screen may be requested for employment purposes or for court. A urine drug screen is the one most often used. If the urine screen is positive then another test of the sample is used to confirm the findings. If the result of the screen is negative all is well. However, this might not mean that the person has not used drugs. A minimum level is required to trigger the test. If the drug use does not reach this level the test results are negative even if there are small amounts of drugs in the person’s system. If the results are positive the person may have never used drugs but the test has shown a false positive.

A poppy seed bagel triggered a false positive on a drug test in Pittsburg Pa. According to a federal civil rights suit filed by the American Civil Liberties Union of Pennsylvania a Pittsburgh-area couple’s newborn daughter was seized and held for five days. According to the suit, testing positive for opiates after eating poppy seeds is not an urban myth. Several courts have recognized the risks of a false positive due to common foods and medication. In a 2004 opinion, the Pennsylvania Superior Court noted that "eating poppy seeds can produce an opiate positive test result."

Heroin and cocaine can only be detected for a few hours after use, but their metabolites can be detected for several days in urine. The results vary with the particular test parameters. Marijuana can stay in a person’s system for weeks or even months depending on the metabolism of the individual being tested.

Drug users have attempted to hide or mask their drug use from the test. A very common method used to foil the test is to drink bleach. Most tests have another subtest looking for this. Another way is to use clean urine from someone who does not use drugs. Users often have a child furnish them a sample. They keep a clean specimen on their person in case a test is requested.

It can be difficult to use another person’s urine. An officer usually observes the person who is the object of the test produce the urine. So to get around this drug users have attempted to fool the observer. The internet sells all types of devises that were designed for this along with guaranteed clean urine. Several people have gone to jail after officers have discovered an apparatus.

We use to believe that hair testing was more reliable than urine testing. However, there have been several false positives on hairs sample test recently. Also a number of people who have tested negative using a hair follicle test have tested positive on the urine test.

Light One Up For Baby

Should women who use drugs during pregnancy be prosecuted and sent to prison? It is undisputed that drugs do harm to unborn children. One drug in particular has been shown to be responsible for many problems. This drug causes miscarriage, placental abruption, and low birth weight babies. It's use can also cause spasm of the arteries, including those that send blood to the placenta. This reduces the baby's oxygen and nutrient supplies, which can result in smaller and underweight babies.

This drug is not crack cocaine, heroin, or even meth. The drug is nicotine. Smoking nearly doubles a woman's risk of having a low-birth weight baby. In 2004, 11.9 percent of babies born to smokers in the United States were of low birth weight (less than 5½ pounds), compared to 7.2 percent of babies of nonsmokers. This information is from the March of Dimes. Underweight babies face an increased risk of serious health problems and chronic lifelong disabilities. These babies can suffer from cerebral palsy, mental retardation and learning problems, and even death. Babies whose mothers smoked during pregnancy are up to three times as likely to die from sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) as babies of nonsmokers.

Smokers are more likely to have a baby with birth defects, particularly congenital heart defects. A 2003 study suggests that babies of mothers who smoke during pregnancy undergo withdrawal-like symptoms similar to those seen in babies of mothers who use some illicit drugs. For example, babies of smokers appear to be more jittery and difficult to soothe than babies of nonsmokers. Among the effects of smoking on a fetus are symptoms of going through nicotine withdrawal and chemical detoxification during the first few hours of life.

There have not been studies of pregnant women and their babies who have used heroin, crack or meth but did not smoke. The researchers are having trouble finding a statistical sample. It seems that almost every meth, crack, or heroin user also smokes. The studies that have been done on drug using pregnant women and their babies cannot determine if the negative effects are from the illegal drug or from the nicotine.

In some Alabama counties women are being prosecuted for chemical endangerment of a child because they consumed a drug during their pregnancy. This is a law that was intended to prevent children from being exposed to meth labs. The legislature did not intend this law to be applied to addicts who are pregnant. Everyone should know that drug use during pregnancy is bad for the mother and the child. A woman should not use any drug, consume alcohol, or smoke during their pregnancy. However there are only four overcrowded rehab centers that will accept women who are with child in Alabama.

Women who have a drug problem can have an abortion and not be charged under this law. The wrongful enforcement of this law means that women will not seek obstetric care. This places their babies at additional risk.

I Don't Want A Divorce

I have people come to see me at their appointed time with papers in their hands. They are crying and upset. “I still love her. I don’t want a divorce. I want you to stop it. Stop the divorce!” Part of my job is to give people bad news. If your spouse wants a divorce you cannot stop it. You can slow down the divorce. You can make it hurt more. You can make it cost more. But the nature of no-fault divorce in Alabama is that a spouse who's absolutely determined to divorce can make it happen even over his or her spouse's objections.

Divorce causes pain. The couple is in pain and their children are in pain. There is a raw, searing emotional content of nearly every issue during a divorce. In all but the rarest of divorces, this emotional intensity of changing feelings of love, regret, guilt, tenderness, euphoria, anger, betrayal, relief, depression, bitterness, abandonment, hatred, freedom, and fear pops up at nearly every turn. This makes it difficult to focus on the legal issues that must be decided. This hurt stops the kind of rational examination needed to move the divorcing spouses toward a mutually acceptable resolution. During divorce, you will likely feel things, think things, say things, and do things that you would never feel, think, say, or do during any other time of your life.

During the time you are divorcing you must also adapt to the many other changes in your life that often flow from divorce. At the same time that you're dealing with all the mess of the divorce process, you must think about how you will get on with a new life for yourself and your children after the divorce. If you have children, you've probably already started thinking about child support, whether you're going to be paying it or receiving it. You will also need a parenting plan which will include visitation, residency, holidays, sports school activities and many other things.

There are many changes to be made even if there are no children. You will have to establish credit in your own name. You may change your name. If so, you will have to change your name on all of your identification. You may have to make arrangements to transfer property or buy insurance in your name. You will need a new will. You will usually have to split your friends, or they may choose which side they are on.

One of the first things I recommend you do, if you haven't already done so, is to think through your budget. If you're like most people emerging from your divorce, you'll realize that what you're planning to spend is more than what you're planning to have coming in. It's painful, but you'll probably have to make some changes in the way you live, at least for the next year or two. The sooner you realize what changes are in store, the less painful those changes will be.

Light-Up

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

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Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement:

Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "The Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "The Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:

1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, said direction being non-negotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of the first part (Lawyer) with every possible caution by the party of the first part (Lawyer) to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second part (Light Bulb), notwithstanding the aforementioned failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) to perform the aforementioned customary and agreed upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate that structural failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) may be incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform and in such case the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall be held blameless for such structural failure insofar as this agreement is concerned so long as the non-negotiable directional codicil (counter-clockwise) is observed by the party of the first part (Lawyer) throughout.

2.) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.

3.) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, said direction also being non-negotiable.

NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by said party of the first part (Lawyer), by his heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him to do so, the objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity of the aforementioned front (north) door consistent with maximization of ingress and revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "The Firm".